My first (real) boyfriend.

You all might think I ruined him, but in my own world, I am the one being ruined, I was shot and dead.

*Note that these are all my point of view, if my words made you feel offended, feel free to leave.

I know I could have been more gentle, I should be braver to hug him in public, to hold his hands more often, and do lovey dovey cheesy stuffs. But I can't. I didn't want to. I wasn't shy. I just didn't want to. But I really did loved him, really did. I really did.

Things were still fine after he left for the states. A little bit bumpy i would say, as arguing was our thing ever since we got together. Till he gets more and more insecure, more and more paranoid.

We both always wanted different things. It's all tolerance. He was always the girl, and i was always the guy. He always thinks himself as a prince, and think of me as a witch with my stubborn attitude.

Till I admit i got annoyed by everything, fell out of love and was forced to break up with him. Few days later I went on a trip to port Dickson.

I have low blood pressure, I get dizzy really easily. My classmates and I were having fun, it was 2AM and we were walking a 4km walk to the beach. As expected, I got really dizzy and weak, my love Lareina, herself is weak like me, so I had to hold my other Male friend for support, and my other classmate was taking random candid pictures, a picture of me holding my other friend was taken.

He saw it, he posted it on his profile, saying I cheated on him, planned on getting close with this classmate of mine when we were still together. He wanted to ruin me. Childish, indeed. I cried, and got over it.

And then I finally get better, I tried talking to him, trying to be friends again, and then he brought up the past and started arguing with me again, what is the point? I came in peace. But he didn't get my message. All that was in his wicked mind is win. He just wanted to win me. To see me fall. To see me being ruined.

Alas, we didn't end in peace.
And someone better came in my life.