Saturday, April 12, 2014

I can no longer access my own blog in my Mac bc google is being a bitch. Why must they buy blogspot. I miss those days when blogspot was still... Well.. Blogspot.

liroufoong.blogspot.com served me for years, and now I am forced to leave it. The firing annoyance in me will never end. 

liroufoong.wordpress.com

Just bc I hate google.

( liroufoong.wordpress.com if u still want to catch up on my life, that is. )

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

24th

I'm kinda confused of what I'm feeling right now. Like, wow.. It's 2013. And wow it's Christmas Eve. And.... Wow....... It's my birthday. It's just that I never looked forward to any of my birthdays bc it's always the usual. And this year, no this specific month, I kind of feel loved. And it made me look forward to my birthday. What I didn't expect was when the clock hits 12, someone that hurt me a lot, seriously a lot, called me. And.... Sang to me. Ever since I knew him I bugged him to sing to me and all his excuses would be next time next time no mood. Thing is, I loved this guy. And for a split moment there, he loved me too. And then he fell out of it, it was crazy and complicated. I was hurt and also almost fell into depression, (p/s/ I'm not tht fragile, I almost fell into depression bc of too many feelings compressed together and it just suddenly exploded and I broke down for a month, but that's another story.) anyway it was crazy. I thought this is it. But then I prayed and prayed and I give all I could. I give and love everyone with all my heart, on the surface it may seem generous, but truth is it's sort of selfish, bc I figured I can seek happiness within, haha. But then again, what's wrong with seeking happiness within others by giving and loving? And then with the help of God I think I finally managed to help myself into getting out from depression (my family wanted to send me to a psychiatrist, it was really scary.) right after that came December, the month I always hated and bad things always happen. Yeah true enough bad things did happen and I did hate it. But then I kept climbing, and telling myself it will be over. And it did. I finally saw the good side in life, the rainbow after the rain, the flower in the mud. I started being happy. Regardless of being hurt by that same boy, I started accepting him as my bestfriend instead. Who knows someone might hop in and love me for real? Haha. I stopped being so sulky and bipolar. It felt great. It really is great. And I have friends and family that love me. What more can I ask for? I'm feeling contented, but then my future is still bothering me. Also some of my friends probably forgotten today is my birthday, so it's now a confused feeling. 

Sunday, November 3, 2013

"that fucked up psycho bitch your friend told you about."

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Read it together will ya

I am so fucking done. Please just get out. It's haunting me day and night on how much I trusted you guys. How can a shattered heart be shattered again and again and again? It doesn't make sense. 

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Dear stranger,

You may be reading this and you may not know me but I want to say thank you, for joining my journey. For reading any psycho post of mine. You're a great stranger. I hope you won't ever live a life like mine. This little girl told her mother that she wanted to be just like me the other day. It was the best thing anyone ever said to me. I wanted to cry, but it wasn't because of joy. I wasn't sure why I did. But I just did.