It's one of those days..

Hi guys. Sorry but my blog is very emotional, you can leave if you want to. I wont wanna read my own blog too. But I just have to rant.

I break down every once in a while. It's kind of normal.
I can't sleep.

I'm just filled with emotions. I miss my family. But how can I even miss them when we never really been a 'family' before? I just want to live together with my dad, my sisters and just feel the love that whenever u cant get smthg from ur mum u run to ur dad and be like 'hey dad mum said i could go/ buy this/ whatever if you allow me to!' and all the crap u get to do with the whole family.

Today my mum said she regret having me. It's the second time she said it. Or maybe third. I forgot.
But she said it. To my face. It hurts. It just keeps stabbing me and stabbing my tears dried up and come rolling down again every 2 minutes.

While she was saying it I was facing my phone as usual, with my stone face, acted like i didn't care at all and I replied ' too bad i'm already born.' But I really want to scream at her, throw everything and have a tantrum like i nvr did in my whole life. I had enough of this. Enough of all the unfairness enough of all the unloved enough of all the leaving and enough of everything.

Someone, Anyone, please just take me away. I am weak. I like to act strong act like a man and all, but I cant take it anymore. Someone please just take me away. Bring me to somewhere far where i wont see anyone wont think of anything, where I can just relax and sleep under the sun with no worries..

I cant take it anymore, mum, dad, and everyone else.

I am treated with too many unfairness. Everything around me isnt perfect I am learning how to love, how to be considerate, how to be more sophisticated, how to control my anger and emotions, how to chill and calm people down even though i myself am really going crazy. Learning how to think of the bright side, be positive. Appreciate whatever is around me. But.. Seriously. Stop it. Just stop. I had enough.
Stop expecting too much from me! I'm just me. Stop taking me for granted i'm trying my best to please every one GOD DAMN IT. JUST STOP IT, WORLD.

STOP EXPECTING ME TO BE WHATEVER YOU WANT ME TO BE STOP WANTING ME TO TOLERATE YOU EVERY TIME STOP WANTING ME TO ACCEPT ALL THE UNFAIRNESS IN LIFE.

I cant take it anymore. I'm breaking down.
If committing suicide weren't a sin, I'd be dead by now.